This will be a short post, I just wanted to share where I was now that I have 90 days clean from all substances.
90 days ago, I was sitting in a treatment center for the fifth time. Hating myself worse than I ever have before. Wondering how I could let this happen again. Pissed at myself for making this decision yet again. I let life get to me again. At this point it sounds like a broken record. I usually don’t make it to this milestone after I get out of treatment. I usually relapse because I’m afraid of not being able to use, so I give in.
It’s been a long 90 days, but now I’m at the point where I can accept what I’ve done and continue moving forward. I have learned a lot in this last 90 days. Mostly about myself and what my triggers are. I have learned to create boundaries and ways to recognize myself and my needs.
I’ve been doing the things I’m supposed to do like going to meetings (online mostly), working with my sponsor, doing step work, and reading literature. All the things that keep people clean and live a life in recovery.
This has been one of the most fulfilling first 90 days of recovery that I’ve felt in a very long time. So here is to one more day, one day at a time.