Be nice to yourself, they say. How loaded is that statement…
I have a hard time with this. When the world seems to be out to get me it’s hard to say nice things, especially to myself. And even more so when I’ve spent a childhood being bullied for my looks, the clothes I wore, my backpack, my haircut, the list goes on… And adding on adult bullying because of who I choose to love, my teeth, my weight, and more. When I’ve spent a lifetime subjected to hate and judgment, where do I find the space and time to be nice to myself?
It’s up to me to find that space and balance. It can be found in giving myself grace for the negatives in my life. Now more than ever it’s important to be nice with where we are in the current world. Take care of myself. Love myself. Be myself, no matter what. It’s easier said than done. I can talk a big game, but being active in my growth is so important.
I do that by understanding myself and meeting myself where I’m at. Not future tripping, not wishing for things I don’t have, and the big one, not comparing myself to others. That’s the most difficult of all of them for me. I constantly wonder how other people got to where they are at this age and how accomplished they are. Meanwhile it feels like I’ve been stuck in a rut for god knows how long. One where I don’t have the same job, the same house, the same clothes, etc.
Meeting myself where I’m at is important because all I can do in the moment is to be grateful for the things I do have and where I am at in life. At that moment I can’t do anything else. Sounds somewhat negative but it’s where I am.
Lori Deschene made some great observations and advice for being nice to yourself. It’s in the image above.
Having patience with myself is a difficult one because I’m very much not patient with anything. So, challenging myself to be patient with myself has been a task but I’ve seen improvement within myself and my interactions with others. Also tending to myself when I am scared or worried about life. Understanding that my feelings are valid, but if I work through them, they are ok.
Also understanding that hurt and pain are normal parts of life. I’ve had a lot of this lately, but knowing it’s temporary and I can allow myself to feel these feelings if I don’t sit in it too long. I just need to be nice to myself. It’s important to give myself grace and the space to grow. Take up space in my own life.
Additionally, being nice to myself includes more than just words of affirmation and being positive. It also means surrounding myself with people, places, and things that compliment my life in ways that bring me happiness, that challenge me to be better, and with people who lift me up but aren’t afraid to tell me when I’m wrong and to keep me humble. It means acting on and not sitting in my feelings and letting things fester and build up to an inevitable crash. I can’t afford another crash. I’ve handled a lot this year, so I must make sure I do what’s necessary to have a happy and healthy life. One where I act in my own life, because no one else will, it’s not their responsibility.
So, here’s to grace and positivity in my life.