Smile!
That’s what everyone says. “Smile and you’ll feel better and be more confident.” “If you don’t smile people won’t approach you.” And much more commentary about my physical appearance. Even though they may be approaching that from a place of positivity, it makes me feel even worse about my smile. I barely smile, and even less with my teeth showing.
After years of drug abuse and dreaming my smile has become something I am embarrassed by. I have zero confidence in my smile, and it’s been that way for a very long time. Because of all the drugs and booze, I’ve taken, my teeth have been degrading, and it seems to have sped up recently. My front teeth are noticeably decayed. I have two front teeth that are falling apart, and my other teeth have become so sensitive to pretty much any food or drink, and breathing in has caused them to have sharp pains.
I have always had some insecurity with my teeth because they aren’t straight and one of my front teeth protrudes forward. I’ve had people make fun of them growing up. Recently one of my client’s kids asked me why my teeth were messed up and what was wrong with my tooth protruding forward. That one hit hard recently and sent me down a spiral about my teeth. It’s gotten so bad that I’m thinking about wearing a mask to work so no one sees them.
So now in this stage of my recovery, I want to take care of myself better, all around. I have started researching how to get them corrected and it seems a bit overwhelming. I’ve asked several friends about the process, and with each one it sounds like a process. One said when you get implants you go without teeth for an extended time while the new ones are made. This scares the crap out of me, no judgment, but I’ve seen older people or people in active addiction, and their entire chin pushes up. It’s just worrisome. But I have to do something.
I wish I could end this post with something positive about the process, but for now, I will just keep trying to move forward with the research and hope it all works out.